ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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