Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
