Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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