Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.