I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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