the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize