Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

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(408): View more from California

I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on

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(316): View more from Kansas

his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball

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(443): View more from Maryland

Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(414): View more from Wisconsin

Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.

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(518): View more from New York

All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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(734): View more from Michigan

He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK

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(907): View more from Alaska

immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten

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