At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
