I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
