I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
