That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
only if we run a train.
done.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
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all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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