Betty ford says i'm here all night
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
