i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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