he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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