I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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