Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
