I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
