she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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