don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
