All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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