I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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