she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
