i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
