It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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