a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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