Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
