I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
