I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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