how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
barbara walters just said penis...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I believe in your delicious
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
