I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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