I am in a vortex of obligation.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
