neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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