i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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