Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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