your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
