This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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