FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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