rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
