Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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