is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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