sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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