He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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