...so i touched it.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
