Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
