quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
