I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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