with your own penis?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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