I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
