I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
