It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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