on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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