Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
