totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize