If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
