If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
