Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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