come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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