glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it's like iHOP with fire
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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