Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
