doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
