Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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