How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
