Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
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I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Floor bacon is actually really good
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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