i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
