so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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