I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
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before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
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And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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