halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
