Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
